Keeping your child safe is every parent and caregiver’s priority, but knowing what to do if they go missing can feel overwhelming. Taking simple steps early on, staying alert to changes in behaviour, and understanding how to respond quickly can make a vital difference. The guidance below is designed to help you prepare, recognise warning signs, and act confidently if your child does go missing, while also supporting them safely when they return.
Before
Encourage your child to:
- Store key phone numbers of trusted adults in their phone and learn one or two numbers off by heart.
- Always let you know where they are planning to go, who with and how long they expect to be.
- Ensure their phone is charged before they go out.
- Share contact numbers of their friends and friends’ parents with you.
- Arrange a secret code word or phrase they can use when calling you if they feel unsafe so you can pick them up without them losing face.
- Rehearse difficult situations in advance e.g. what would they do if they lost their phone whilst out and had no money with them?
Warning signs that something’s wrong
Your child may show some warning signs that something is wrong such as:
- Changes in a child’s behaviour or how they present themselves. Are they outgoing, but have become shy? Have they started dressing or presenting very differently?
- Becoming secretive or withdrawn. Is a child suddenly hiding their activity?
- Evidence that they may be subject to physical, sexual or emotional abuse such as bruises, wounds, STIs or self-harm.
- Isolated from friends – or signs that they are isolating themselves. Are they moving themselves away from friends they’ve known for a long time or from family members?
- Signs of mental health problems and emotional wellbeing problems including self-harm , suicidal thoughts or anxiety.
- Changes to their regular friendship group. Are they hanging out with a different crowd?
- A breakdown in relationships at home and/or school perhaps involving extreme and unusual outbursts of anger or new attitudes and opinions developing.
- Non-compliance to boundaries, especially if this is out of character.
Don’t ignore these signs. If possible, find a good moment to talk to them- maybe a car journey or when something positive has happened. Speak to your child’s teacher or another professional who knows them about your concerns.
While your child is missing
If your child is missing:
- Don’t panic! First carefully check your child is not in the house, garden or local neighbourhood.
- Try to call them or contact them on social media.
- Contact their friends, friends’ parents and your own family to check if they know where the child is. See if anyone has any information or is willing to help you look.
- Check if they have taken any important items with them like money, clothing or bags.
Reporting your child missing
If you have no idea where they are and are becoming increasingly worried for their safety, call the Police on 101 or report them missing online at www.police.uk/forces. You don’t need to leave a certain amount of time or wait until it gets dark to report your child missing.
If you have reason to be believe your child is in imminent danger, call 999.
Give as much detail as you can:
- When did you last see them?
- Has anyone seen or heard from them since then?
- What were they wearing?
- What did they take with them?
- What mood were they in?
- Where do they normally hang out?
- Have they updated social media at all?
- Tell the Police if you have already checked the places they often go to and the people they like to spend time with
- Mention any particular causes for concern, medical conditions or neurodiverse diagnoses.
Ask the police for an incident log number. Make a note of this and record it for future reference.
When/If the police visit to take a full missing report, give them as much information as you can, including a recent photograph of the child, ideally with the same clothes and hairstyle as they have at that moment.
If you want to go and look for the child yourself, make sure someone stays at home in case the child returns. Take your phone and charger, and keep in touch.
When they return
When a child does return home:
- Try to remain calm and collected when the child returns, rather than getting angry.
- First, tell them how happy you are to see them and check they are OK. Offer food and drink or anything else they need.
- Call 101 to inform the Police they are home safely.
- Although it is important that you talk to them about what has happened, they may be tired or distressed so now may not be the right time (and you may still be too worked up).
- At some stage over the next 24 hours, talk to them about the risks of going missing. Listen calmly to what happened and don’t respond until they have finished.
- Take note of what they tell you. If they have been harmed and/or a crime has been committed, inform the Police and seek medical help if necessary.
- Give them numbers of helplines such as Childline in case there is anything they need independent support with.
The police will visit your child soon after their return to do a safe and well check, often called a ‘prevention interview’ or ‘found debrief’.
Over the next couple of days, an independent support worker or their own social worker will be in contact to arrange to visit your child for a ‘return home interview’. Despite the name, this is just an informal chat and provides an opportunity to:
- Identify and deal with any harm the child has suffered.
- Understand and try to address the reasons they went missing.
- Help the child feel safe.
- Understand what they need to prevent them going missing again.
After this has taken place, talk to your child and agree what you can all do to make sure they won’t go missing again.
Always keep communication open and check in regularly with them to see how they are feeling.
You can also get more advice and information on our poster hub.